Friday, 27 January 2012

The Stress is Driving Me Mad

I'm quickly getting very stressed out from school. 
I've never really been good with stress, it just makes me want to sleep all the time, and my workouts have been suffering because of it. I've really been trying to control my eating, so I haven't really gained any weight, but I've only been to the gym twice during the last 2 weeks, and that's only because I work out with my trainer every Wednesday. Every night I go to bed thinking "I am going to get up by 6:30, go work out, and then it will be done and I can move on with my day." But when 6:30 comes and the alarm clock is going off... I just can't seem to pull myself out of bed. By the time I'm done hitting the snooze and get out of bed, it's 7:30 or 8, and I don't have time to get to the gym before my class starts. I feel like I'm full of nothing but excuses the last few weeks, and I just can't seem to find a way to stop making the excuses and just do something. I always find a reason not to, and most of the reasons aren't very good.

I'm sure most of you out there have dealt with the same problem... I know I'm not the only one. I just wish this was all easier. I wish I had a better way to deal with stress... maybe I should start meditating or something. Has anyone out there ever meditated before? I'm not really sure how to go about doing it, so if anyone has any advise, on meditation or anything else that would help out with stress, please help me out!

I hope all of you are doing well, and dealing with your stress a little better then I am!

♥ Lots of LOVE ♥


Thursday, 19 January 2012

I Just Want a Cookie!!

School is in full swing now, and I'm starting to freak out just a little bit. Just thinking about all the papers I have to write makes me want to cry! I know I'll make it through, but being at the beginning and looking toward the end, seeing all the work that lies ahead, is a little daunting. I know I'm not the first to deal with all of this, and I know I wont be the last, but it still sucks being in the middle of it all.

The big problem with all of this new stress, is it makes me want to eat, a lot, and all the time. I'm trying to deal with it, but it is SO hard to fight the cravings I get. I'm really trying to stay focused, and make sure I make time for all of my workouts, but it doesn't make it any easier to fight off the cravings. My biggest downfall is food, it always has been, and I'm sure it always will be. I don't mind working out... it's not my favorite thing to do, but I feel good afterwards, and that's always a feeling you want to keep having, so I can at least talk myself into making time for working out. But when it comes to food, I almost wish there was something I could take that would make all the food I love (and that are bad for me) taste terrible. That would make life so much easier, if only life worked that way!

Anyway... I just needed to get all of that out of me! I Hope none of you mind. I'm sure a lot of you out there have many of the same issues with food, otherwise none of us would be overweight, right? I'm sure I will always struggle with it, but I'm hopping that, during the next few weeks, I can deal with my cravings in a more productive way, and make it through this semester of school without gaining a single pound!

♥ Lots of LOVE ♥


Friday, 13 January 2012

I'm so sweaty I feel like I just took a shower!

Today has been a pretty good day. I had an AWESOME workout. I ran/walked a mile in 14 minutes, which for me is really good. Then I walked for another 15 minutes, walking up hill for 10 of those minutes, then I ran up hill for 2 minutes. I felt amazing when I was done. Then I did 10 minutes on the rowing machine and called it a day. I was exhausted, but I felt really good about the work I had done. I was so drenched with sweat that I felt like I had just taken a shower... I definitely needed one after that workout!

The weekend is here and I have a lot going on. My husband, Chris, wants to go to a movie and dinner tomorrow. I love going out and enjoying time with my husband, but restaurants scare me a little. I always have every intention of getting something 'good for me', but when the time comes and I see all the good things on the menu, I can't help myself. This time I am determined to get something that I wont regret later. I don't want to go home feeling guilty about what I ate, that is never a good feeling. Sunday we have dinner at a friends house, which is also a bit difficult, since I'm never sure what kind of food we are going to be met with when we get there. It's never anything terribly unhealthy, but with all the appetizers before hand and dessert after, it really makes me struggle to stay on track. I'm hopping I can keep my willpower up this time around and be happy with myself when we go home!

I'm really hoping this weekend goes by slow because school starts for me on Monday! I'm not really ready for it yet, but I don't really have much of a choice! I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and can me happy with all of the choices you make, like I'm hoping to be happy with mine!

♥ Lots of LOVE ♥


Wednesday, 11 January 2012

That Chocolate is Staring at Me!!

So, it’s been a couple of days now “back on track”. It is SO hard getting back into things. It seems like all I think about all day is food… that’s not normal! I don’t know what it is, it’s like I’m afraid it’s all going to be gone or something… ha-ha, that makes me sound a little crazy! I know it’s there, it’s not going anywhere, and I’m definitely not going to starve…. I just want to sit and eat all day, and I don’t like that. 

 I have a bar of dark chocolate that I keep in my freezer. I break it up into squares and I eat 2 or 3 of those squares after dinner to take care of my sweet tooth. I have a HUGE sweet tooth. If I had things my way, all I would ever eat would be chocolate, cakes, cookies… anything that has a lot of sugar. Anyway,  I’ve been trying stay away from it these past few days, trying to wean myself slowly off of sugar, which I really need to do. But every time I go into the freezer to get something, usually something to cook for dinner…. I swear that thing is staring at me, taunting me. I should just throw it away so I don’t even see it, but I can’t bring myself to do it… Oh chocolate… if only we could get along! 

School will be starting up again for me next week and it has me very nervous! I’m so afraid of failing that it’s got me freaking out a little bit. I know I’ll be stressed, and when I get stressed, I eat. That’s how I fell of track this past time. I didn’t even realize that I was eating, until half the package of whatever I was eating was gone. Then I would feel terrible and guilty, and that doesn’t feel good at all. I’m going to really focus on myself this time around and make sure that don’t eat if I’m not hungry. Maybe I should buy a bunch of sugar free gum and just chew that, it might help.

We are already 10 days in to the new year... crazy! I hope this new year is starting off great for everyone! We all make so many resolutions this time of year, I just hope I can stick to mine, and that all of you can do the same! I have really got to make it work, I just can’t stay this way anymore. I hope this blog finds all of you doing well and felling motivated to make it work for yourselves too!

♥ Lots of LOVE ♥


Monday, 9 January 2012

A New Year and a New Start

Well, where do I start?

I’ve never done a blog before… so I’m not really sure where this whole thing is heading. I guess I’ll figure it out as I go. While it would be nice if people read this blog and maybe even find it helpful or interesting, that’s not my main goal. I’m starting this blog as a way of tracking my life, and my progress through this ‘weight loss journey’ as I’m calling it. I’m sure there will be a few recipes and other random things along the way, but I’m sure no one will mind. If readers out there do like what I have to say and find some of my posts helpful, that’s great! Finding support and inspiration is as big a part of weight loss as working out and eating right is. I hope I can help some of you, while some of you help me! 

I guess this first post is a good place to start from the beginning…. I currently weigh 246 pounds. No point in sugar coating it… just get it out there and get it over with. I took me a while to decide if I was going to put my weight on here or not… but then I figured, what’s the point in writing a weight loss blog, if I’m not going to be honest and forthcoming from the start? It hurts to see that number… I’ve been lighter than that in recent years, and it hurts admitting that I’ve gained a lot of weight back that I had once lost. 246 pounds is not the heaviest I’ve been, but it’s still not a healthy weight, and definitely not where I want to be.

I have been working out with a trainer at the gym for almost 7 months now, and haven’t really lost any weight. I know that sounds strange, but I haven’t exactly been keeping an eye on what I eat, so that makes it a little more difficult to see results. My trainer is great, I have definitely noticed an increase in my strength and stamina, I just need to do my end of the deal and get back on track with my eating habits. 

With the new year, I am making a new start. I have recommitted myself to this journey, and I am focused and ready to do what I need to do to make it work this time around. I plan on posting here at least a few times a week, maybe even everyday if I can find anything worth writing about… I consider myself to be pretty boring, but I’m sure I can come up with something. So, with that, I’m off… time to get this thing going.

More to come!

♥ Lots of LOVE ♥